Tales from the Simulacrum

Last weekend I visited Las Vegas for really the first time. Now, I've driven through Las Vegas a few times on my ways to & from California looking at the Strip from the freeway. Once, my family & I even stayed overnight at a hotel in Vegas--a normal, business-class, non-casino type of hotel far, far away from the Boulevard. When I flew to London back in '07, we flew out of the Las Vegas McCarron International Airport. But this was my first time staying on the Strip & enjoying Sin City, our "Cultural Capital" of excess & illusion.

The night before, we gathered to watch The Hangover, which I didn't particularly care for the first time I saw it. It was supposed to pump us up, but mostly I felt like it was a cautionary tale warning us away from Vegas. Anyway, early Friday morning we got up, got coffee, & got McDonald's. Then we drove, & drove, & drove. We took two cars--our car got a slightly late start, & Elise drove at the speed limit or thereabouts. The other car was driven by a speed-demon, who did get pulled over, but they still arrived long before us. We also stopped in Mesquite to get some "discount" liquor which seemed to basically be the same price as non-discount Utah liquor. It's just in Nevada they don't ID you (unless you use a credit card). & to get some smokes. We finally arrived in Fabulous Las Vegas in the afternoon & made our way to the Luxor which is where we were staying. The Luxor, for those who don't know, is the Egyptian-themed hotel in the shape of a giant pyramid at the southern-end of the Strip between Mandalay Bay (which I called Manderley) and the Excalibur. The first group to arrive was already fairly drunk by the time we arrived half-an-hour or so later. We were soon upgraded to a suite (sweet!) which was very nice since it gave the six of us a little more room to spread out, especially when tensions flared.

After showering & getting semi-fancy, which takes some time for five gay men (& lone woman), we went to Fat Tuesday to get yard glasses of boozy slushies & then wandered down the Boulevard. It's kind of awesome to be able to walk around in the open carrying a drink. We stopped at Miracle Mile to get something to eat. By this point, almost all of our group was completely drunk. Good times. =/ We made it to the Bellagio & watched the fountains which did not disappoint. It was a real highlight of the trip. (But then I'm the kind of guy who has been known to occasionally get emotional at firework displays.) At this point we decided to return back to our hotel.

The first half of Saturday was spent by most of the group sleeping. After I woke up, I spent a few hours reading until the rest of the group woke up around noon. & then it took a couple more hours for everyone to get ready. When my family goes on vacation & stays at hotels, there is no sleeping till noon or dilly-dallying. So while I enjoyed the leisurely pace to a certain extent, I was also impatient to get going. The group decided they wanted to go shopping at the Outlets. This being the Premium Outlets on the Boulevard (not the Fashion Outlets 30 minutes south of Vegas), so it was basically just a mall; I tend to think of "outlets" as special stores with amahzing discounts. We spent most of the time at H&M where nothing comes in my size. Sad. When we got back in the late afternoon, after refilling our Fat Tuesdays, Bryce, Elise, & I went to the pool to catch some sun--which did not last for long. The rest of the group went to get tickets to a show. They ended up seeing Cirque du Soleil's Zumanity which sounds like it was really good. I didn't quite have enough money to see a show this time. Instead we had a leisurely dinner at the hotel. After the rest of the group got back from the show, everyone decided to hit the Strip again & maybe go to a club. Because I hate clubs & didn't sleep in all day, I decided to stay at the hotel & go to bed early. Which didn't quite work out so well when everyone came back quite late (or early) very loud & drunk. When my sleep is disturbed during general sleeping hours, I can get quite pissy, though I generally forget all about it the next day.

Sunday morning we woke up & packed, & then decided to go to a Champagne Brunch at Cravings at the Mirage with endless mimosas! Sometime between driving the three blocks to the Mirage, the other car ditched us and headed to the Forum Shops at Caesars. So we had a lovely, leisurely brunch & the mimosas were very delicious. Here I gambled one whole dollar at the slot machines--& won 5 cents. Wahoo! Only, my "winnings" were printed on a receipt which I would have to cash in to claim, & I had no desire to claim my nickel. So that's on me, Mirage. You're welcome. & then we drove home, stopping only in Fillmore for food & fuel, & in Nephi to look at the solar eclipse (which we did through our regular sunglasses, so we may soon go blind).  

All in all, it was a fun little trip focused more on relaxing than doing a whole lot. I do want to go back with a lot more money & a game plan to see & do more.